I created a video and posted it on my now-retired website, Orange Dragonfly Blog, a few years ago, explaining how to make the tastiest drunken turkey ever. The number of people who stalked me for that recipe after the previous site went down was unbelievable. Well, here it is my friends… My Famous Drunken Turkey Recipe. The best cider pairs perfectly with this Keto-friendly drunken turkey recipe. Oh, and buy four bottles of wine for this recipe—one each for the bird, the dinner table, and you to sip on while you cook! Yes, the bird gets two bottles! He’s inebriated; some years he even gets three! Buy four bottles of Bogle, Cupcake, or Clos du Bois Chardonnay!
Notice: This post, My Famous Drunken Turkey Recipe, may contain affiliate links from which I receive a commission. For instance, I receive a tiny commission at no additional cost to you if you click on an ingredient link and make any purchases from that website. This is how I pay for this blog and make a living as a writer. Thank you for supporting me!.
This photo was from the year I made both this recipe and the Thanksgiving meal from scratch for the first time. The recipe keeps getting better each year too!.
Ah, Thanksgiving. A time for family, friends, feasting, and, of course, football. But let’s be honest, the real star of the show is the turkey. That golden-brown bird, the centerpiece of the table, the culinary culmination of all our efforts. But what if I told you there’s a way to make your turkey even more memorable? A way to infuse it with laughter, merriment, and perhaps a touch of tipsiness? Introducing the Drunk Turkey Recipe Joke, a hilarious guide to cooking a turkey that’s sure to leave your guests in stitches.
The Recipe:
Ingredients:
- 1 large turkey (preferably one that hasn’t already had too much to drink)
- 1 bottle of whiskey (or your preferred spirit)
- A generous helping of humor (the funnier, the better)
- A dash of creativity (optional, but highly recommended)
Instructions:
- Preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. This is important, as we don’t want our turkey to end up like a burnt offering to the gods of Thanksgiving.
- Take a swig of whiskey. It’s Thanksgiving, after all, and what better way to celebrate than with a little liquid courage? Plus, it’ll help you loosen up and get into the spirit of things.
- Place the turkey in the oven. Be careful not to drop it, especially if you’ve already had a few too many swigs of whiskey.
- Take another two swigs of whiskey. Just to be safe.
- Set the oven timer for 4 hours. This is the perfect amount of time for the turkey to cook and for you to enjoy some more whiskey and laughs.
- Take three more swigs of whiskey. Because why not?
- Turn the oven on. Now the fun really begins!
- Take four swigs of whiskey. You’re getting the hang of this, aren’t you?
- Baste the turkey with the whiskey. This is where things get a little messy, but that’s all part of the fun. Just be careful not to set yourself on fire.
- Take another bottle of whiskey. You’re going to need it.
- Stick a thermometer in the turkey. This is to make sure it’s cooked through, not to see if it’s had enough to drink.
- Pour yourself a glass of whiskey. You deserve it.
- Bake the whiskey for 4 hours. Yes, you read that right. We’re baking the whiskey. This is the secret ingredient that will make your turkey taste like a million bucks.
- Take the oven out of the turkey. Wait, what? Oh, right, the turkey is in the oven. My bad.
- Take the turkey out of the oven. Now we’re talking.
- Let the turkey rest for 10 minutes. This will give you time to catch your breath and maybe have one more swig of whiskey.
- Carve the turkey and serve it with your favorite Thanksgiving sides. Don’t forget the gravy!
- Enjoy your delicious and hilarious Drunk Turkey!
Tips:
- For an extra kick, marinate the turkey in whiskey overnight.
- If you’re feeling really adventurous, you can even inject the turkey with whiskey. Just be careful not to overdo it.
- Serve the Drunk Turkey with a side of laughter. It’s the perfect accompaniment to this hilarious dish.
There you have it, the Drunk Turkey Recipe Joke. A hilarious guide to cooking a turkey that’s sure to leave your guests in stitches. So grab a bottle of whiskey, put on your apron, and get ready to have some fun. Happy Thanksgiving!
Pumpkin Spice Chia Pudding
Need a simple easy, allergen-friendly dessert? Check out my Pumpkin Spice Chia Pudding, an Alternative to Pumpkin Pie.
Tidbits and Gravy Recipe
Here are the two videos on making the turkey. This video was filmed quite a few years ago and I have altered the recipe a little bit (like with the cheesecloth and turkey tongs).
Oh and I don’t do that gravy recipe anymore. Instead, take all the drippings from the bottom of the roaster pam and use an immersion blender to mix them all together – you don’t need to add anything else.
Here is the follow-up video…. yep, there’s two. In this one, I try not to step on my parent’s dog, drop the turkey, and practice carving it for the first time. Good times!.