How to Cook a Turkey in the Ground: A Deliciously Primitive Thanksgiving Feast

Yo, fellow foodies! Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and you know what that means? It’s time to ditch the boring old oven and get your hands dirty with some good ol’ fashioned pit cooking! That’s right, we’re talking about cooking a whole turkey in the ground, just like our ancestors did back in the day

I understand your reaction, though: “Cooking a turkey in the ground? That sounds like a recipe for disaster!” In actuality, though, it’s much simpler than you might imagine. Plus, it’s a guaranteed way to impress your guests with your culinary skills.

So if you’re prepared to up your Thanksgiving game, read on! I’ll walk you through every step of the way so you can prepare a flavorful, juicy turkey that will have guests licking their plates!

Gather the Rocks:

The first step is to gather some rocks. You will require a large quantity of them, so go to the closest quarry or riverbed and begin gathering You need enough rocks to fill a pit that is at least three feet deep and three feet wide. The rocks should be about the size of your fist.

Get Your Bird:

Next, you’ll need to get your hands on a turkey. You can use any turkey from the grocery store, but if you’re feeling particularly daring, you could try to hunt your own. Just make sure it’s big enough to feed your entire crew.

Dig the Oven:

Now comes the fun part: digging the oven! Find a nice, flat spot in your backyard and start digging a hole that’s at least 3 feet deep and 3 feet wide. You’ll also want to make sure the hole is big enough to accommodate your turkey, so don’t be afraid to go a little bigger if you need to.

Cook Your Rocks:

Once you’ve dug your oven, it’s time to start cooking your rocks. Build a “log cabin” style fire in the bottom of the hole, and then carefully place your rocks on top of the fire. Let the fire burn for a few hours, until the rocks are nice and hot.

Prepare Your Turkey:

While your rocks are heating up, it’s time to prepare your turkey. After the turkey has been deboned and its neck removed, season it with your preferred herbs and spices. You can also stuff the turkey with your favorite stuffing, if you like.

Wrap Your Turkey:

Once your turkey is seasoned, it’s time to wrap it in cheesecloth or burlap. This will help to keep the turkey moist as it cooks.

Lower Your Turkey:

Carefully lower your wrapped turkey into the pit, and then cover it with a layer of hot rocks. Then, cover the pit with a layer of dirt, and build a small fire on top of the dirt.

Let It Cook:

Let the turkey cook for several hours, or until it reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees Fahrenheit. You can check the temperature by inserting a meat thermometer into the thickest part of the thigh.

Uncover and Enjoy!

Once the turkey is cooked, carefully uncover the pit and remove the turkey. Let it rest for a few minutes before carving and serving.

Tips for Success:

• Use a heavy-duty turkey roaster to make it easier to lower and remove the turkey from the pit.
• If you’re using a gas grill, you can preheat the rocks in the oven instead of building a fire.
• Be sure to use a food thermometer to check the internal temperature of the turkey.
• Let the turkey rest for at least 15 minutes before carving. This will allow the juices to redistribute, resulting in a more tender and flavorful turkey.

Cooking a turkey in the ground is a fun and rewarding experience that will leave you with a delicious and memorable Thanksgiving feast. So, what are you waiting for? Get out there and start digging! And remember, the key to success is to have fun and enjoy the process. Happy Thanksgiving!